What makes commencement speeches great is not simply their content and meaning, it is the medium in which they convey their messages to the audience. In other words, their choice of words and tone.
The first rough draft that I wrote was raw and uncensored. It was passionate and revealing. I knew it was not my best work, so I expected to receive feedback that consisted of constructive criticism regarding its choppiness, disorder, and lack of a connecting thread. However, what I was not expecting was its heavy judgment along the lines of "condescending", "demeaning" and "conceited". Surprisingly enough, I did not feel offended. On the contrary, I got defensive because I did not believe that my thoughts were offensive and harmful. I thought to myself, no, you're getting it all wrong, I don't necessarily mean what your interpretations are. I was frustrated with all the false accusations on my personality and demeanor from even the closest of my friends.
It was not until I read my rough draft aloud to my older brother when I realized how correct all of the criticism was. For goodness' sake, my brother bursted out laughing and so did I, but with tears. I am very emotional, so I cannot pinpoint the exact cause of my tears. But I am positive that one of the reasons was because I was angry at myself. I have been told before that I need to think about my word choice before I speak. I can come off as rude, pretentious and insensitive. I'll admit, I am a little bit of each. Unfortunately- or fortunately- I lack in the department of being politically correct and just downright nice. So, before I move on, I would like to sincerely apologize to those who I have surely offended or made feel inferior.
I have taken out several important lessons from this recent experience. The first being that I should not let my public rough draft be my journal- I need at least some organization and thought out details of my own thoughts before I make them public. I understand that this was supposed to be sort of like a free write, but I think it was a free write better kept to myself. Nonetheless, if I had not shown my inner inklings to others I would have continued my ignorant speech. The importance of free writing and sharing, two of Peter Elbow's most prized behaviors, have never been made so explicit. Secondly, tone and choice of words is important. It does not matter if you are an angel, if you fail to translate your message into one that sounds and means nice, you will be seen as the devil by others.
Patricia Cuarenta
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