A Pitiful Troll

          The wind was blowing, brushing against the dangling leaves as it produced a melancholic melody. The starry sky was lit up with little dancing stars like holy lights penetrating through the impenetrable darkness. The lights were out, and the city went dark succumbing to the irresistible slumber, except for one tiny apartment. Light shone out of the small circular window as if someone is working hectically. In the apartment, sat one tireless creature, a young teenage boy about the age of sixteen. He was laying his back against the back of his chair as he was about to command his daily mission. In front of him was a screen, which allows him to do many things, one of which is to connect to the world through the Internet. He was searching, hunting for his preys from one sites to another, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and blogs; he scrolled through all of them slowly. A grin appeared on his face. Bingo. Target acquired, a sensitive one, too. The post seemed to be about the LGBT community. He stretched his arms, and backs as if he was getting ready for a marathon, or perhaps a war that he would certainly enjoy. Carefully, he started to craft out his insidious comment that would ensure him a blood lust battle. After making sure that everything was right, the grammar, and spellings, he clicked sent. And the game began. He waited patiently the same way that a jungle cat would wait for its clueless prey to fall into its trap. Bing! His grin grew even wider. After all, it was the sound of a message notifying the predator that a prey had fallen into the trap. The battle went better than he expected it to be. People started to reply to his comment one after another feeding his insatiable hunger. He then replied back with insults such as "gay", "fag", and "go to hell, you freak of nature". Soon his comment began to attract more trolls, and they joined in the battle while feasting upon those fragile souls. However, after a while, feelings started to flood up his chest, the feelings that he had been trying to suppress, pity, guilt, and empathy. He bit back his lips and once again tried to shove away these feelings. Frustrated, exhausted, and confused, he decided to shut his laptop off, and threw himself onto his bed. His back towards the ceiling and his face against the pillow, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep; however, his pensive mood kept him up. One thought after another popped up in his mind until he got to the one topic that he wished to avoid for the rest of his life. Just the thought of the topic angered and confused him; he then screamed into his pillow in aguish. " Why me? Of all the people, why me?" he would always ask himself. He was afraid to admit what he had become or perhaps what he was always meant to be. The thought of society rejecting him made him cower in fear, and the thought of his family disowning him almost killed him. "Why do you people exist? and why me? I've never asked for this. Damn, you freaks of nature" he whispered to himself. He then bit his pillow and screamed his pain out as if someone was grabbing and squeezing his tiny fragile heart. Little shiny droplets fell down his face as if someone broke a dam. He could feel the wind brushing against him as if it was trying to soothe him and telling him that it'll get easier, and better tomorrow. But of course, he knew this was bogus. He knew that every day was just as torturous as the next, or else he wouldn't be soaking up his pillow every night.
          Every day, he had to live in constant fear; fear of someone finding out what he really was, fear of his friends rejecting him, fear of his best friend leaving him. Every single day, he had to pretend to be someone he was not; he tried to live under the illusion that he could pretend to be something that he was not until he became one. Of course deep down he knew it was a lie. He had to hide himself behind iron curtains, wrap his heart in steel, and wear the expression of a dead man. He could never do anything he likes or enjoys because he was afraid it might emasculate. He had to be cautious of every of his action because someone might catch him the moment he slips up. That was the reason why he hated them, he hated how free they were, and how brave they all were to come out to the world, even though the world hated them. He knew that he would never be free like they were for he shall be forever shackled to his fear.